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Unveiling the Path to Inner Transformation: A Journey of Healing and Self-Discovery.


Introduction:


In the world of personal growth and spiritual exploration, we often come across individuals who have undergone profound experiences that reshape their lives. In Episode 9 of the Endless Possibilities Podcast, Eva, Gareth and Diana, sat down to discuss Diana Kasperska's transformative journey of self-discovery. From intense training to Kundalini activation, Diana's story is an inspiration for those seeking healing and a deeper understanding of their own existence.


Embracing Silence and Discovery:


Diana recalls attending intense training that created a significant shift in her perception. Instead of exploring Sydney on the last day, she chose to stay home and dive into the world of Adidas videos. Little did she know that this simple decision would have a profound impact on her life. Through the training, Diana learned that she was not merely her physical body but something much greater.


The Power of Surrender:


After the training, Diana experienced a deep silence within herself as she struggled to integrate and process her newfound knowledge. It was during this time that she started doing sessions and began venturing out of her comfort zone. As a result, Diana's life began to transform, and she started receiving invitations to different places, experiencing beautiful moments that accelerated her growth.


A Profound Shift:


One particular meeting led Diana to a beautiful shift and an acceleration of her transformation. She had an internal realization that something in her life was not as it was supposed to be, and in surrendering to this realization, she believed that the person she was talking to would find someone who needed their attention more. This act of selflessness opened the door to unexpected blessings and lessons.


The Beauty of Connection and Understanding:


During a class, Diana had a deeply profound experience where intense physical movements and the presence of light engulfed her. It was in this state of heightened awareness that she engaged in a non-verbal, intellectual conversation, receiving answers to questions that had plagued her for years. This interaction left Diana with a deep sense of knowing and a profound appreciation for the beauty of her experience.


The Call to Meditation:


Diana's journey of healing and exploration continued as she reached a point of acceptance, ready to understand the true nature of life. In a moment of tangible change, she saw a light that sparked her curiosity and propelled her into a regular meditation practice. By facing her inner darkness and intentionally starting a fight, Diana discovered the power and beauty that lay within meditation.


Kundalini Activation:


The universe works in mysterious ways, and Diana's path took a synchronistic turn when she randomly woke up in the middle of the night and came across an advertisement for a Kundalini activation process class. Intrigued by the possibility of significant change, she attended her first class in Ireland, despite her limited knowledge about Kundalini. This experience marked a turning point in her spiritual journey.


Purification and Awakening:


The process of Kundalini activation involves purifying and opening up the energetic system. Through the creation of an energetic container by a facilitator, participants experience the gathering and rushing of life force energy, leading to profound awakening experiences. Diana recalls her initial resistance and struggle against these experiences but eventually embraced faith, prayer, and the exploration of the chakra system to gain a deeper understanding.



Conclusion:


Diana Kasperska's journey of healing and self-discovery is a testament to the transformative power of surrender, meditation, and exploration. Through intense training, Kundalini activation, and a keen desire to understand life's purpose, Diana emerged from the depths of her struggles to embrace her true self. Her story inspires us to navigate our own inner paths with courage, trust, and an open heart, knowing that limitless possibilities await us on the other side of self-discovery.



Full Transcript of Endless Possibilities Podcast - Episode 9 - Interview with Diana Kasperska


Gareth:


Hello, and welcome to the Endless Possibilities podcast. My name is Gareth, and I'm here today with my good friend and co host, Eva. Hi, Eva.


Eva:


Hi, Garrett.


Gareth:


Hi. Today we have a very special guest on the show. I'd like to introduce Diana Kasperska. She is the founder of Aka, and she's actually a very good friend of hi, Diana.


Diana:


Hi, Diana. Hi, Eva. Thank you so much for having me, guys.


Gareth:


Yeah, very excited to have you on the show, Diana. And I guess we should kind of just explain how we all know each other, because we've all met before and we've all been together. Eva, would you like to talk a little bit about yeah.


Eva:


Hi, Diana. Did I also say hi?


Diana:


Yeah.


Eva:


So we met, I think it was three years ago at a Shaktipat retreat in Ireland, in Wicklow, and that's where we met the first time. We were all participants, and yeah, it was three days, and it was really nice. I remember. It was so nice meeting. Yeah. And, Garrett, you were also there, so yeah, I don't know. We just had a great time, and that's how we met each other for the first.


Gareth:


And Diana, so would you like to talk a little bit just about your early experiences in life that led you to.


Diana:


That'S? Yeah, there are two situations that happened in my childhood that really set the tone of my life, and I'm very happy to share that. So I remember that day. I remember exactly it was, like, Sunday afternoon, and I was just sitting in the living room, just being present, and there was this TV show on, and the host, he had some kind of he interviewed some girl. I have no idea who she was, but she was just kind of like a gothic lady, a bit of rebel. No idea what they were talking about until she kind of raised her voice. He asked her something, and she kind of raised her voice and said something like, what do you think you do in this life? You will be coming here till you retire, day by day. What is this life about? What is the system? And that caught my attention, and that really did something to me, like, my system respond to it. And since that moment, since that situation, I start questioning, what are we doing here? Why do I exist? What is this all about? And I started asking questions, but there was no really answers. I tried to talk to some adults. Everyone was very dismissive. Just go and play. Do the things like kids do.


Gareth:


How old were you?


Diana:


I was six years old. So it was a big thing, because that event created lots of anxiety within me, lots of panic attacks. I was thinking about the infinite space. I was thinking about heaven. I was well introduced to religion. I had my Bible. I knew everything about it, but it didn't resonate to me like what is this all about? So I had a very hard time that time, really. And at the same time I started having those very weird experiences. I could feel that something is about to happen. And that was usually when I was relaxed. And the only way I could explain it, it was that I was even sucked into it, or I was kind of entering some space where there was like really nothing was like a vast low quality space. It was something that was terrifying me. And I associate that, that this must be something very negative. Nothing what I would learn about religion. So nothing like what I really should be experiencing. And somehow I've noticed that if I keep myself busy, distracted, I do lots of things. Those things are not happening to me as much. So I become very busy in my life, like I was a child. But I just loved the school. I wanted to study. I wanted to do everything to distract my mind, because wherever I relax, that thing was happening to me.


Eva:


Wow.


Diana:


Two things were really kind of set the tone of what was happening next. And with all those questioning years were passing, I think. So I was around eight or nine and I overheard my uncles talking about this amazing prayer, like a wonderful thing. And I just started listening because every time the most important thing for me was figured out why I'm alive, what is this all about? And they were talking about this kind of prayer. So I remember I was like probably eight years old. I went and got this little booklet. And that was a prayer given by St. Bridget. It is like 15 paragraphs that you have to pray for a year long in order for some kind of promises, whatever the promises she got in order to be given to you. And two of those promises I got really interested in. One, it was something like you're going to get certain level of perfection. I couldn't figure out what doesn't mean. And the second one, it was that once you go to heaven, you will have access to drink a water from those kind of angelic whales, what people are not usually having access to. And because I was so miserable with my life and trying to understand and really get that knowledge, why we are here, I said like, oh my God, this is my liberation, this is my salvation. And as an eight years old child, I got this idea that I'm going to pray for a year and then I just need to kind of either do a quick life or just die to go and figure it out, because that was my priority. Nothing else really makes sense to me. Just to figure out why I exist and what is this all about and what is this heaven and so on. But to be honest, one year is a long period of time to pray.


Gareth:


Every day, especially for an eight year old.


Diana:


So every so often I would miss a day and I had to start again and took me a really good few years in August to complete that prayer. So I pray and pray and pray and try again and start again. Meantime, I was having some breakdown again with those anxiety attacks because again, those thoughts were coming very intense. But yeah, so that was very much beginning. And then in my teens, like when I was a teenager, I got very much interested in martial arts. So I started practicing kyok shin. That's a type of character. And I got very much, very much obsessed about it. It was another way for me to keep busy because I was all the time feeling that something is chasing me. These experiences were all the time chasing me. I was very much afraid to relax.


Gareth:


Because diana, just what did you sense was chasing you? That void.


Diana:


That kind of emptiness, that experience of it. Because it didn't feel like I was doing something. Something was coming to me or something was acting on me, but I could not understand.


Gareth:


And was there a fear of you.


Diana:


Dissolving into that spaciousness nothing have existed there? It was sense of me, but I was afraid. I wanted to be surrounded by people because I had that fear of why just me? Why is this nothing there? So perhaps I had that fear and I just didn't want this to happen to me ever again. And I associate that as a dark thing like I did. That was my kind of assumption.


Eva:


And did you wear pulled in for a while? Did you have that experience or were you always trying to not getting pulled in?


Diana:


I remember the first time because I didn't know what was happening. I did and then I was fighting it, but fighting didn't you couldn't fight that to certain level you had the experience. But as I said, I was keeping busy. My mind was occupied, it was fine. I couldn't really manage all those thoughts like the way why I'm here, what is this all about? Those were very much disturbing to me. I had all faith in that prayer. I said I prayed one day I just need to play by the rules now, do my life with playing all the rules that they said to me to do. And one day I will find out. So I kind of make peace with it to some degree, of course. And then I start with this martial arts and that become my obsession, basically. And I remember somehow my teacher mentioned something about chakras, I think so that the chakra system correlates with the bells, like the involvement with how you process on the path. So I start doing some research. But 20 years ago internet wasn't the thing what is today, isn't it? Especially in Polish, like there was few pages what I could read about but yeah, I started to be interested in chakra system, kind of like subconscious mind, things like that. And in the same time, I've got this beautiful diary. And I exactly remember the COVID And the COVID there was a picture of the sunset and this lady sitting in a meditative state and meditating. And I had no idea, what is this? I was just like, I just want this whatever. This felt like peaceful, felt nice. But I got that thought. I said, Let me just check with my priest if it is okay if I can do that. Because I just spent a few years praying and trying to figure out my thing. I'm not going to throw away I'm not going to throw away what I kind of thought is important. And unfortunately, it wasn't the thing I was allowed to do. So I dropped all this idea of just sitting and discovering what was inside at that time.


Gareth:


So growing up in Poland, Diana, it was very much Catholic. Everything had to be checked by a priest. So you actually read about this sitting in silence and you felt that you had to go and ask the priest permission. Right?


Diana:


I felt this like I was very much because especially that because I pray for so long and I find that if I'm going to throw it all away and I want those water on wisdom more than anything else I won't sacrifice that for something else what is unknown to me very much. And perhaps maybe there is nothing to discover. So I had that idea and Diana.


Gareth:


The image that you seen, can you just explain that a little bit more and what it meant to you?


Diana:


It meant to me what meditation or.


Gareth:


What the image the image of sitting.


Diana:


When I saw this lady, you know, there was something very interesting in it. And I felt like there was a peace, there was kind of contentment, there was something what you really would like to do. Although I have no background, I could not say. I just thought just to check because I've never heard people meditating or what is this about? So I was interested, but I said no, I can't. It's not what I can do. So I throw it away.


Gareth:


And did you know that this represented meditation at the time?


Diana:


Did you know what you did? I did, yeah. Somehow I did. But I didn't go in that direction. I throw it away. I said, I need to play by the rules. That's not the rule, I'm not allowed.


Gareth:


Okay. And you went and you asked the priest about meditation and he said it.


Diana:


Wasn'T no, not really much at that time. It was completely different. Probably today there is a different way of seeing the things as well. But that time it wasn't very much accessible.


Gareth:


Okay.


Diana:


And just because I felt that I already kind of find my salvation, that prayer really make me so why I would throw it away. I did it for a few years. I dedicate lots of time and lots of heart into it. So I felt like I stick to what I know. Yeah, so that's how it is. But funny enough, with all those practices, what I've done in the martial arts and today I know it before I didn't. All those sessions such as swimming or maybe skipping on the rope or those kind of when there is repetitive movements happening for the extended period of time, that was a time for me when I was just completely just being in that space. And that was a beautiful meditation stage. What I just wasn't aware, but because it wasn't called meditation, it was allowed to do so I would be skipping on the road for 2 hours, just really at peace, really there no mind, just movements, just being in that space. So that's I've done for years. And I believe that that was a beautiful thing to also kind of was a self mastery and was involved the body. Yeah, beautiful time. Definitely.


Gareth:


Yeah. You were definitely meditating through them.


Diana:


I know I did, but just because it wasn't called meditation, that was silly. It was yeah.


Gareth:


The focus was on what the activity you were doing and then the mind was quietened down and you're just in the zone.


Diana:


Exactly.


Gareth:


And what age were you doing that?


Diana:


I was teenage like I was teenager. I done it for many years. And martial arts are spiritual practice good that I didn't know that time.


Eva:


How long did you do it for?


Diana:


I think so six years. Then I went for college and things just changed. I was looking for love and for other fulfillments, I guess, but there was no much growth happening and I felt that universe wants me to know. So I become very uncomfortable where I was. And one to the other day I moved to Ireland and I was exposed to a different way of seeing world, different cultures, different religions, different way of being. And that's when I start very much start reading.


Gareth:


And what age were you when you went to Ireland, Diana?


Diana:


I was 21. After my 21, yeah, I was finished a bachelor's degree. I was still doing my master, but I just left.


Eva:


Can I just ask about something before? I mean, first of all, I love listening to you, Diana. Your story, it's amazing. It's so great. And it's so amazing that you had this opening at such a young age. I mean, that's really amazing.


Diana:


Now it's a blessing.


Eva:


Before, it was a terrifying course of yeah. So I wanted to know, when you did the prayer, did you feel anything happening from the prayer, like energies? Was this something that was there for you and what happened after you finished the year of the prayer?


Diana:


Yes. So you see I don't think so that I could feel something. It was more as a paying respect for know, like, to something greater, because I really much was just a separate little Diana trying to find a way of understanding a bit more. And no one around is interested in feeling like that was the thing. So it was more as a begging for an answer for me kind of thing. So I don't remember feeling the connection at that time. Probably desperation, because it was the only thing what I just knew I want. And after a few years, after I finished, really complete that one. So I wasn't very much interested to leave. I wanted to get there, which kind of meant to die, but I can't influence that neither. Think of suiciding. Think of something like that because it's not playing by the rule. So I just have to keep going and live my life. And thankfully, martial arts happened because it was a beautiful time as well. Yeah, I was fine. I said, I will wait. I will wait for whatever has happened next.


Gareth:


Okay, so you're 21, and then you decide to leave Poland. Had you been away before that? Had you left Poland, traveled, like, holidays and leave Ireland?


Diana:


Yeah, I came here once for holidays when I was 18, and then I just like, I'm going. So I left. And yeah, it was a time just to really discover new things. But I start reading I allow myself to kind of start peeling the layers of those kind of programming and those beliefs. Very slowly, I start reading those kind of popular spiritual books. But I was accepting just very little because whatever was too much out of what my belief system was.


Gareth:


Comfort zone. Yeah.


Diana:


I could not it really took time. So I have lots of sympathy to people who are very slowly opening up to that possibility because I was there.


Gareth:


And diana, this is religious programming, right? You had been programmed by the Catholic Church.


Diana:


Yeah, very much in society, as just certain things are allowed, certain not. So yeah, that's how it was, and I had a hard time breaking it as well.


Gareth:


Ireland, we had a very similar sort of like in the we were ruled with an iron fist by the Catholic Church. And they had a big say in everything, every household. It was very similar.


Diana:


Maybe if Polish people will watch that, maybe somebody will resonate. We had that saying, I cannot relate to something in English, but we had that saying that was repeated constantly by everyone, by teachers, parents, by everyone. Like, Fear the God, you do something silly. Everybody like fear the God. Why did you do it? Fear the God. So when you hear as a small child to fear the God, you really get and I was always kind of listening to instructions. So for me, it was I have to have so much fear. And that's how I was. I was very afraid to kind of break, go beyond what was told me to do. Took time, lots of time.


Eva:


Sorry, you were reading books and what else did you do to help yourself?


Diana:


Maybe some kind of healing processes opening up to different ideas every time a bit more. I still didn't allow myself meditating, to really meditate. I would be going for some kind of event, but very kind of the one I consider safe, that's all going very slow and life become very nice. Everything was cool, everything was really beautiful. And until I had a personal crisis, things start being very tough. And I remember that moment when I was walking and I just really had enough. I said, this is not working, this is really hard enough. And sometimes I was talking to my participants and I said this story, I was walking and I don't know how come I've generated so much acceptance in that moment, because I really said, okay, I accept anything, everything, I don't care. That's it. I picked the fight, the level of acceptance at that very moment, I said I didn't care. What I have to do whatever it takes. I want to understand. I'm ready to really understand what is this all about? And I don't know what I need to do. Just let it happen. And I was walking and I'm going to put a bit of disclaimer here before I'm going to say that. Because in Ireland with this never ending wind, the clouds are moving, so the sun comes and goes every minute. But in that moment when I really accept this present moment and when I really generate that level of acceptance, this kind of light came and the next breath what I took, it was so freeing. It was so tangible, I could not imagine it. Something happened and something changed within myself that time. Something was very profound around me, with me and that light what came. But as you know, sun comes and goes in Ireland every three minutes, but it was very tangible. So I believe that something happened at that time. And that was the day when I came home, throw my drinks and sat and meditate. First time in my know I said, whatever it takes, I don't care. I'm not going to be doing healing something similar. I can face that darkness because I assume that this is a darkness kind of thing that's coming.


Gareth:


And when you started meditating, Diana, what age were you?


Diana:


Give us that proper meditation was around, what, five, six years ago? Five, probably something like yeah, okay. So I really sat down, closed my eyes, I said, whatever it takes, I don't care. This thing can come. Whatever chasing me.


Eva:


And how was it.


Diana:


I was waiting for? I picked the fight. I was a fighter, I picked the fight. Whatever it takes. And it was a very beautiful experience. After a few minutes, my mind was silent. Everything started vibrating, my head start moving. I didn't have no idea what is going on. It just felt so beautiful. It felt so freeing. And I said, okay, so I do it again and again and again and again. And then I start really meditating. And I knew it that something will be happening. I knew that I am on some kind of journey. I had no idea what will be the next thing. And I don't know. A few months later, I don't remember the time frame, few months later, I woke up in the middle of the night, took my phone, and I saw this advertisement that was very weird for me to do. Wake up three in the morning, take my phone and open the Facebook. It was like very much something was doing it. And I saw this advertisement for this class, kundalini activation process. It's like, I have to go there, so I save it. And then next day on my way to work, I was like, there was something happened last night. I remember that I've done something. And then I remembered that I saved this post. I was like, okay, I have to go there. I didn't read I kind of had an idea about Kundalini, but very little, probably more as a concept than yeah. And I went for this very first class in Ireland with that time, and I considered this experience, so something would really change my you know, he talked, he did the demonstration. I kind of freaked out, I think. So the last bit of know programming really kicks in because something like that is very unacceptable. And I said, okay, whatever it takes. I said, whatever it takes. Whatever it takes.


Gareth:


So this class, Diana, it was just an open class. You go, people are lay down on the floor on yoga mats, and then the teachers moving around activating the Kundalini people are having spontaneous movements. I wonder what your priest would have made of all of that.


Diana:


Oh, Jesus. But because I said whatever, I had a thought I would run away. But I said like, no, whatever it takes. But I think so, because I got a bit scared there. I did.


Gareth:


Of what? Of the noises, the movement?


Diana:


No, not really. I think so. It's just something inside of me was still peeling those layers of conditions. That something is not as supposed to be. But I think that was a very good thing because it allowed me to truly surrender. Because he said, you need to surrender. And I said to myself, if I really open up myself and surrender, he will do very little of what he is doing because he will need to go to people who need more of it. So that was my thought process. And I said, he will just see that things are okay, and he will just move to another person. The truth is that no one needed to touch me because in a minute I was rolling all over the floor and having all those kind of movements, and my body that time wasn't able to kind of go through all those physical movements. It was very intense. But it wasn't about the movements. What's happened in that class? That was of course something I have never seen before. I've never seen something like that. But what truly was significant about this class it was that at some point I felt that I was surrounded again by this light. And there was a conversation happening. Not on the verbal level, not even on the intellectual level. Somehow I just become so aware. And all those questions that bother me for so many years, they just were answered in a way of I have understood them. There was a deep knowing that's it that was the most beautiful thing ever.


Gareth:


Was it more that the questions just disappeared?


Diana:


It just felt like they didn't disappeared. It was a sense of peace. And knowing that there is not even plan. It makes sense. It's not random. It's not something that I need to figure it out. I can be that I can be that aware about something bigger. Something that makes sense. It was beautiful. I couldn't talk about it until now. Words won't be able to explain that experience. It's not possible. It's something beyond but that really changed my life. Even if I wouldn't do anything else, even I would never progress beyond that point. That would change my life. To be very content and peaceful and beautiful. And probably that would be just that was what I was looking for for so many years.


Eva:


So beautiful. Really? Yeah. And then you decided to become a facilitator, right?


Diana:


Actually, I thought that it was just one experience. That's it. But the changes that had happened to me from my diet change. I become extremely centered, really peaceful. I start hearing things, seeing things. Everything starts changing so much, so quickly.


Gareth:


After that one session?


Diana:


Yeah, after the very first session.


Gareth:


Could you sense that your kundalini had been activated during that session? Or had it been active before?


Diana:


Maybe I can't say that was active before. I didn't have a concept. I started something moving through my spine or something. So I wouldn't know exactly. There was a huge definitely lots of alignment happened. Like lots of release. I experienced so much release during the session. I had from session to session, more and more energy start flowing through me. That's for sure.


Gareth:


So you went on multiple sessions?


Diana:


I've done few before becoming a facilitator. And at that point I even didn't want it. It wasn't my thing. I didn't think about becoming some start doing facilitation course or something like that. But the very beautiful thing happened three days after. And I talk about this day a lot before. I kind of call it the day when I saw a tree. That was Sunday. And I woke up very early in the morning. And that's another thing. My sleep pattern changed. I was such a heavy sleeper before and suddenly 3 hours gone, 3 hours less sleep. That's huge for the regular person. They woke up and I went to this beautiful place in nature, kind of canal where I was living that time. And the next step I've done, it kind of changed, something opened, some kind of dimension opened and everything becomes so vibrant, like so beautiful. So mesmerizing, I have never seen something like that. And I spent, I think so, two or 3 hours just crying and being so in awe in the beauty of the nature. Why I haven't seen that before? Why we don't see it on the regular basis? Because I've been coming and closing and opening every so often after the sessions. But I said like okay, I understood that I want more of this. Whatever this journey leads me, I want more. So then I plan to travel and travel and met Renald again. And then I've got an invitation for the training. I didn't accept it first, but then something pushed me towards it. So it's funny because first half of my life I felt that something chasing me. And then the next part is something pushing me towards different things to do. So I felt very much of course there is a will in it because I booked a flight and I went somewhere. So there's a part of will, I cannot say that I completely surrender. Something brought me there, but there was lots of surrender towards it. And I said okay, I go and do this. So I start, I become a facilitator and I start doing those kind of sessions. And then I think maybe half year later we met, I think so, Nyan's.


Gareth:


Retreat, which was yeah, okay, so where did you travel to do the I went to Australia. Australia? Wow.


Diana:


Yes. I missed the one in Europe because I said who am I to become some kind of know or teach something? So I said no, no, that is not my thing. And then the next one, I just really felt that urge that I have to do it. And going to Australia, I remember crying on the airport because I knew that something going to die. And I couldn't explain because I didn't have the concept of an ego death or something like that, but I knew that something will be dying in that something will change deeply. And it wasn't like a dead, it was a shift in the know, but it was a huge shift in identity after that training, after that time I spent there.


Gareth:


And Diana, do you want to talk a little bit about what went on during the training? Like how it changed you?


Diana:


So the training was quite intense. Yes. And I think the accumulation of it create the shift. So on the very last day, instead of going and seeing beautiful Sydney, I decided to stay at home, just relax at home in the place I was staying. And I was watching that. Time, lots of Adidas videos and at some .1 of the video create that, I think. So maybe I resonate more with it, whatever was there, it create that experience. When things just start to being lifted from me, like I'm not my body, I'm not this, I'm not that. And I feel like it was a process of all this journey, all those sessions, you know, all the support I've received from Venn. So everything brought me to that space. And I become very silent after, extremely silent. There was no way to have conversation with me. I was still speaking, I couldn't talk. But somehow I needed really process what was happening. For good few months I was extremely quiet, just processing, integrating what's happening. I started doing my sessions. It was beautiful to share and I was all the time feeling that I'm going out of my comfort zone. Another thing, something what I've never done before, like this group, people start calling me and inviting to different places. Beautiful things happen really. And my heart was really open and it was keep opening. I was getting all those kind of love feeling that I'm giving it to people and receiving as well. So I was in that space for some time and then we met and that was another beautiful shift, acceleration of the process, I would say.


Eva:


And can you just share? How long was this training for?


Diana:


So that we can have six months. We were meeting online, so yes, that's very intense time, that's really okay.


Eva:


And then you started doing one to one sessions or group sessions right away.


Diana:


Yes, exactly. So I start doing them and doing a lot of work on me as well. Self activation, working with, doing lots of meditation, doing lots of activations. Then I've made Yanisman, so I've done lots of work. I attend his retreats. That's how we've met as well. Then Woodgarrett, I remember we were meeting as well. So all this know it's all add up to further kind of development and changes.


Gareth:


And Diana, during the training, that experience that you had, would you say that was a spiritual awakening that had happened, took place? Was there a defining moment where it was just like you were hit by a lightning bolt?


Diana:


I considered that this kind of thing happened on that very first session when I become so aware, because that awareness opened to me. I never were aware. It was always singular me kind of some limited part of Diana, something like that. And then in that very first session, there's this awareness was a that was the beginning of it. And then I felt like each time something happened, it just opened up, open up, open up and change. But whatever shift or whatever experience I had, it took time for me to really integrate that. It's not like you do something, you have that experience and tomorrow you know how to even talk about it unless there is lots of influence of the mind. But then I don't know if this is so good as well, because sometimes people will maybe read something and they look for that experience so much. I had no background, I didn't have that understanding, which was a blessing as well, I think. So.


Eva:


So you are very intuitive, right? Yeah. You just knew for yourself. Yeah.


Diana:


Somehow that.


Eva:


Okay. Great.


Diana:


Yeah.


Eva:


And then we met at a retreat, and I remember you sharing, you're doing these group sessions, and actually I joined a few of yours and I really liked them. Do you just want to share a little bit about the content of the sessions you gave? Because it was so amazing. It was something I've never experienced before. Yeah.


Diana:


Kundalini activations. So the way I see it now is a bit different than I saw it before because the change changed, I think. So the space that I share changed. So after some time, I quite move a bit the way I see or maybe explain it in a bit different way. So maybe if I will say a bit how I see it today, it's more in tune with me. So basically, those kundalini activation sessions, that's the energy energetic activations. Yes. So how I see that as a facilitator, a person who we hold the space, so we create that sometimes we call them container or energy field or sometimes vortex. And in that space, the energies are amplified. So I see that this life force, this kundalini, that force is just gathered to the greater degree. And participants, by allowing themselves to relax, opening up, surrendering, that activation is happening in their system. So energy starts rushing through them. So we are basically there is lots of resonance happening. So I'm just holding that space, I'm holding that frequency, I'm creating that energy field, and that's happening in that space, that activation. And it is a beautiful process of purification and opening up the system. And it's really preparing you for this awakening. Sometimes when the person is ready, of course, the awakening happening very quick, kundalini moving through the spine. But it's also a lot about purifying the system. And I think so there is lots of importance in it. Less blockages within ourselves, easier the awakening happens, there is much more ease.


Gareth:


So would you say you're preparing the nervous system and the body for something great, an awakening of consciousness?


Diana:


Yes, exactly. So that's what's happening in those sessions. Lots of purification and people benefit on it on so many different levels. Whoever comes, of course, there is a difference with people. What they receive and what's happening during the decision is what they're ready for, how open they are. Sometimes we need to move through certain things. Some layers need to be shed first before this energy starts really rushing through.


Gareth:


Okay, so you get a lot of people coming, and you just talked there about some of the people having layers that they need to work through before they get to them higher states. And do you want to talk about how you bring that on or how you teach them to surrender and let go to something greater than themselves?


Diana:


Definitely there is a process. Every single person has a bit different way of understanding what surrender is. And that commitment is very important. Sometimes people want to just come lie down, and in one session, there's so much expectations. And we do talk about let go of expectations. That's really fair point. Like, we want people to let go of expectation, but if somebody comes for the class, some level of expectation will be always there because they make an effort to come and do something. So at least to make them understand, to kind of let go of it as much as possible. Because there's something greater than what we think we are what she or he thinks right now, acting from within. And sometimes we just need to repeat that few times in order for the energy start rushing through. So that understanding is very important.


Eva:


And can you share a little bit about the setting, how you facilitate the session? You said people are laying down.


Diana:


Yeah? Yes, exactly. So with Kundalini activation, people lying down on their mat, I do play the.


Eva:


Music quite loud, walk around, techno music or house music. I love your music.


Diana:


I call them discomantras.


Eva:


Discomantras, yeah. Great.


Diana:


Yeah. So different type of music. And happened to me that I am quite loud as well during those sessions. There's some kind of noises.


Gareth:


We're going to get to that, Diana. Don't worry. We're going to get to that. Let's just talk about the music and the setting first.


Diana:


Yeah. So people lying down, they're relaxing, just being present, witnessing what's there, that's what we want. We just want a person to be relaxed. We want them to open to that possibility. And then I walk around, I would touch them sometimes. I would just work from the distance. Sometimes there will be physical touch involved. Music is played and things are just happening.


Gareth:


But there's an energy that comes into the space, Diana, and it can be felt because we've worked together. Okay. Just for the listeners and the viewers. Myself and Diana have done some joint events together. And when Diana starts, everybody's lay down on the floor, and then all of a sudden, the music is turned on. And before she starts even moving around, the people, people are like vibrating and shaking on the floor, wriggling. And I absolutely love witnessing what goes on in them sessions. I think it's so fascinating that just by inviting them to lay down and surrender, that all of a sudden they're just open to the energies and it rushes in.


Diana:


It does, yes, that's true. That's what's happening for so many people. Exactly.


Gareth:


Yeah.


Diana:


And then with process, with time, of course, it goes deeper and deeper, sometimes even more intense. Sometimes they're just different phases as well.


Gareth:


And do you want to talk about when you're working? So you move around the crowd, you will place your hands on certain chakras, on points on the body. Do you want to talk a little bit about that, how you move the energy around them, what you're feeling in the session?


Diana:


Yes, what I would be doing, I would be just walking around and there's this force presence. So I'm very much guided by it. I will touch in certain places, it's more like it's very intuitive. And people will report that I've touched them in the places where they had some injuries or they felt some blockages, et cetera. So this energy move and help them to release those blockages. There's lots of reports like that. It's not like I am going and deciding what to do, but there's this larger force in the room that guides me and it's just that beautiful movement across. So sometimes I can see lots of synchronicities. There will be many people doing the same movement in the same time. You can really see that it's not random, what's happening in the room, how many people suddenly will come to the session with a very similar life situations or maybe some kind of triggers or whatever they're working on, so beautiful things can be witnessed in that space.


Gareth:


And Diana, can you talk about how you've changed as a facilitator with this modality from early on? Because your modality has kind of changed, hasn't it? You've actually even renamed it. Do you want to talk a little bit about that? Because you've obviously changed as a person and a teacher and you've grown into this role.


Diana:


Yeah, time with all the work I've done with different teachers that play a part, somehow all those things start happening to me that I felt that it's time for me to share it with others as well. So I kind of move away and I'm very grateful to every single teacher who play a part in it. But somehow I felt like this energy really wants to be shared and if I can help and spread that, because changes are beautiful and so many people benefiting from it. So I said, let's do that, and I move and create that project aliveness. And that's how it starts. So I do every so often, I would just train some people and we have a nice community of facilitators all over the world. Yeah, it's beautiful to see that we can really help each other, because that's a journey. I'm calling it a journey of remembering, because this is something that we remember. It's not like that's something that we learn. It's very what we are and it's very native to us. It's just a way of remembering, just to remove the things what doesn't allow us to see it. And that's what I do mostly. So that's the one thing as a container. Yes.


Gareth:


And Diana, you've also kind of developed your own transmission, where you do in silence. I think you call it consciousness expansion. That's what they call consciousness expansion. Do you want to talk a little bit about what goes on in M sessions as well?


Diana:


Sure. So those sessions, consciousness expansions, what I do, I really cultivate sitting. So I'm inviting people to sit in silence. Something that we can really practice as well. I'm really inviting people to practice it as much as possible with the recordings, for example. And in that space we do meditate and the space is still charged with the energy. So I do work with grace and light and then there's this divine presence in it. And what we really do, we are working on creating capacity to sense the energy, to open up more and more. And that shift in consciousness, that might happen too. So it's really much about expansion and feeling and sensing the energy, creating a pathways to connect to that space, to that source, to whatever we want to call it. So that's what's happening during those sessions. That's what kind of space I am creating.


Eva:


And how is it done? You tell people to sit in silence and then focus on the body or everything you just described, how is it done?


Diana:


So mostly I will be just creating again the space very much and inviting grace and light. There is a bit different quality to energy that is present. People sensing it very people reporting. There is something different between one to the other.


Gareth:


So, just to get a context of your normal sessions, because the kundalini activation you also do online, where people can connect and you can move that energy remotely in the people and they can start having the body movements even though they're 1000 miles away, the other side of the world. And then these sort of group settings that you're doing with people, you're like transmitting consciousness, you're bringing in presence. It's a completely different feel to it exactly than the linear activation it is.


Diana:


Yes, it is happening.


Gareth:


And is it that you notice that they're a different group of people? Have you developed two groups or is.


Diana:


It I kind of feel like one complement to the other. They work very good energy activation. If we think about something to move the energy through the system, to help you to really start the process and then go deeper into awakening of consciousness and expanding it. So I think so they complement each other very well.


Gareth:


Okay. As well, just to pick it apart a little bit more. So the people who usually come for the kundalini activation, okay, they most likely see videos and it looks really amazing when you see people going into the different mudras and the energy moving. So I imagine you get a lot of people who go, wow, that looks really amazing. They had not done much meditation. They haven't done an awful lot of spiritual practice. They come in they get a taste of what this energy can do for them. Maybe it makes a big change in their lives and then they somehow gravitate towards the consciousness. Deepening and awakening.


Diana:


Yeah, exactly. I think so. As a journey, you're starting with something so tangible. Something really happens. You can really feel it. It's not that you need to wait for a long time to sense something. Of course, we're talking about many people, not everyone. Yes. And then you're moving and then you're sensing something more. Then you experience something more subtle. But you know that with time you're going to really open up to feeling it more and more and more.


Gareth:


Wonderful.


Eva:


I would like to talk a little bit about not the consciousness, the other sessions. You know, when there is stuff happening, because at Gert's last retreat, you joined for the last day and I was there to experience it as well. And it was so amazing. And I just would like to share a little bit with the listeners about this because it's so amazing to experience. So first everybody's laying on the floor, then you have the loud music playing, and then people have the craziest reactions. So screaming, howling, crying, laughing.


Gareth:


And that's just Diana.


Diana:


Yoga poses.


Eva:


Yoga poses, all of that. And then also Diana no, Diana is moving around the room. And do you want to share a little bit what you do because you haven't talked about this yet, like what you do to help the energy to work on people and stuff.


Diana:


Yes, I will walk around, touch them. As I mentioned, there would be lots of touch happening. I will move the energy. And somehow, at some point that happened to me a few years ago, my throat really opened. So I would really make lots of noises, voices. Sometimes I would shout. And that really also helped the energy move through the room. And sometimes when I'm very close, working on one person, I can feel. And that also their experience, that that voice or noise. What I'm doing helps the energy move through. It's like I am calling something what is released and something is being released. So I'm quite loud during those sessions. Sometimes too loud, I guess.


Eva:


Yeah, I loved it and it's like I just want to share. So you have this rattlesnake sound. I would call it this sound. And when you did it, it's like this snake energy just flies around the room towards everybody. It was just so amazing. You're really accelerating it and you're sending it to people by these noises. Yeah, it was amazing to see, to experience, to feel in the body so much.


Diana:


Yeah, because I haven't seen somebody like that, doing something like that in this kind of work. And if I really would ignore it, because it will start happening spontaneously. When I was working online, so no one could hear me anyway, so I didn't really everything is muted, so I allow myself to make those noises, but if I would ignore that part and kind of like, no, I haven't seen something like that. I wouldn't allow really unfold and everyone's love it, and it's really adding to the space.


Gareth:


You're so authentic. And just for me to give a little bit of background. So I also did a workshop with Venice Wong about five years ago when he came to Ireland. And so I have been around the whole Kundalini activation scene, but I've never seen anyone do what Diana does where it's almost like she's coaxing a release out of somebody by vocalizing these noises that are coming through. And it's almost like she's inviting know a release. It's like she's given permission to the people. She's like, okay, all of a sudden, oh, here's this woman screaming at the top of her lungs. And then all of a sudden they start going off. And it's like once one person starts, it's like everyone around the room is screaming and there's shaking, and it's like you've pulled that out of them, Diana. You've somehow gone in and given them data, okay, that they can let it out, release it in the session.


Diana:


Is it all surrendering to it as well? Because I could really ignore say, but just surrendering to it. It kind of unfolds beautifully. Yeah.


Eva:


And that's so amazing because we've talked about it in previous podcasts for people who start to do their own healing work or what you do, it's like, okay, you learn something. You learn the cap, and then you practice. It for a while, and then something unfolded for yourself, and now you have your unique way of helping people and doing this kind of work. And that's so amazing to see it with you, because it's very unique and yeah, beautiful that you surrender and it's happening.


Gareth:


And can I just say as well that there's a quality to Diana that I absolutely love. She's such a hard worker. Diana will get on a plane. She'll get up at 05:00 a.m. Get on a train or a bus and go to the airport and travel to a city multiple times in a month just to facilitate a group sitting. And I think it's very important that how you work, it's not about you. It's like you're like, okay, I need to share this with people. And you're getting that out there. It's like you're being of service in a way where it's not about you.


Diana:


Thank you for saying this this way.


Gareth:


That's how I see it.


Diana:


Thank you very much. I think so it's very important to share it and to allow others to share it too, because it's nothing mine. It's universal. And there's so many people can help others help us to just really remember that beautiful feeling of connection. So if more people will remember, it's going to make a huge change the way we live. So let that spread as much as possible.


Gareth:


And Diana, do you want to talk then about how you then discovered that you could share this with people and then to help them become facilitators with this energy.


Diana:


Yes, that was a kind of step as well. I think it's a big one. So I kind of all the time feel the push somewhere. I just felt that there's a time to do that, I need to do it. I was going to Poland a lot and I said I can't keep up traveling so much all the time. And I felt like to it's time to create some kind of project, some kind of training or a space for others to also remember it. It's just the beginning of the journey. Becoming a facilitator is just the beginning of the journey. Then it's a lot about how we are working on ourselves as well and how we want to evolve. So if there are people, every so often some group will gather. I'm calling it Initiation of remembering and then working and being of service, really sharing it with others. So I felt that it's important step to do, so I've done it.


Gareth:


Do you want to talk about the people who are drawn to working with you? So who comes along to decide to work with this energy? Diana. And then how do you facilitate or give us an idea of what happens? So you also then would probably set up a retreat over a number of days you'd bring the people. Yeah, so talk a little bit about that.


Diana:


I'm checking with people who I really like when they come into the session. So I know them.


Gareth:


There are people who have worked with you.


Diana:


They work with others at this stage and I would invite them for this kind of training, which would be like four days in person. We would meet, have a really intense days and start that process of being able to hold the space and then we are meeting for a number of months. I'm very much in touch with them. I think it's beautiful to create kind of community with many of them. I am very much regularly talking and we are really sharing beautiful things and there are lots of idea happening in the community, some kind of retreats, different type of work, so it's spreading and I really think that oneness is not sameness. So everyone needs to really express themselves. So some people will really add something to it or maybe they will be drawn to it, it will change them, this is the beginning and more they will work on themselves or with that energy something will be evolving and it's all about evolution. So we need to be open for the next step and next step rather than just kind of said that this is it. So that's what's happening basically.


Gareth:


Wonderful.


Eva:


Wow.


Diana:


Yeah.


Gareth:


Go ahead Eva, if you want to ask.


Eva:


No, I just wanted to say I think it's so great that this came for you first you did this for people, and now you can also teach people to help other people. I mean, it's really amazing. Yeah, that's what I wanted to.


Gareth:


Mean. You're constantly on the move. You're constantly moving from country to country doing sessions. I know you've recently been to India. Do you want to talk a little bit? What happened in India?


Diana:


Well, I just actually went by my for me more. I was really drawn to go there and I spent some beautiful times in two places. Himalayas was a big thing for me. I really felt so connected there and it was so beautiful. So I said like, oh yeah, I need to go back and I'm actually hosting a retreat there. But that will happen soon. I think that's very important to be open to energies in different places. You can really receive something and place like India is something that you can really add to. It can really change you. It can really change you. So it was really beautiful. I'm looking forward to go there again with the group.


Gareth:


Now, what kind of retreat sorry, go ahead.


Eva:


What kind of retreat is this going to be?


Diana:


So that's the Kundalini activation? Yes.


Gareth:


So Diana, that event that you're doing in India, do you want to talk a little bit about the people? Who are they? Are they local or are they people who normally follow you around in Europe?


Diana:


Yeah, we have a nice group from Europe actually coming with Know, so I'm really looking forward to it. Yes, it's going to be Know. It's a very different culture, beautiful energy. We're going to visit sacred sites and we're going to work a lot with the Kundalini activation. So I think so that blend will really create a beautiful experience and I hope that's going to bring lots of beautiful unfoldings to those who will come.


Eva:


Diane, I do want to share a little bit about your retreats you're going to host throughout this year. What kind of retreats and where they are? That would be great.


Diana:


So this year I have that retreat in India. So that's the big one. And then next year I'm planning on hosting a good few retreats in Europe and perhaps in India. Again, there's few more places I would like to visit and also probably bring the groups. So I'm planning on definitely doing more retreats next year online as well. There is always a Know, not everyone can travel, so it's always good that there is some kind of container for work happening online as to and you've.


Gareth:


Got a very important one tomorrow, I believe.


Diana:


Yeah, exactly. We have a beautiful intensive inevit and.


Gareth:


Diana are doing a joint event tomorrow merging Shakti Pad and Kundalini activation. And they're very always I love it. I just absolutely love it. I think it's such a fun the energy is amazing.


Diana:


Yeah, it's a nice space. Two days, I think so it's a beautiful space. I'm sorry, eva?


Eva:


No, just continue. Okay. It's in the center, right?


Gareth:


Yeah.


Eva:


Beautiful. And you also offer one on one sessions, right?


Diana:


I do, yes. For the listeners to know? Yes, I do. One to one. It's a big one, actually. Lots of people love this kind of regular sessions because they can really see the progress.


Gareth:


Is that in person mainly, or is it online?


Diana:


They do online and in person? Yes, and online works so well because it's so convenient just to turn on the laptop and if somebody is just open to the possibility that they can receive it or have the same benefits, that what the session in person has. That's all. We just need to be open to it. But there will be people who are not fun of it. I wouldn't then even try to convince them. But you know yourself, you work online so much. Like once somebody is open, that's all what it takes.


Gareth:


Yeah. And Diana, one thing I noticed with you is you're continuously working on yourself, always evolving, know, doing workshops. Do you want to talk about recently done Vipassana retreat? Did anything open up during this? Was there any deep experiences? Because it was ten days, right? In silence.


Diana:


Yes, ten days in silence. Beautiful time. I really felt I need to withdraw a bit and just focus on myself. It's very important, especially when we hold space for so many people and we are so constantly busy with them. So the time for yourself, it's very important. So every so often I would just disappear. Yeah. So it was beautiful thing, actually, silence. I become quite silent. So actually I really enjoy silence.


Gareth:


You weren't shouting?


Diana:


No, and I really just stay with myself. Although on the very last day, somebody came to me and said to me, oh, you must be working with energy, because I could feel straight away when you entered the room. And I didn't want it much to influence the space, of course, so I allowed myself to be just with me. But it was a beautiful time just to sitting and be very present and go through it. I would recommend for everyone just to be in a beautiful group as well of women. Certain things you not do, certain things you're not watching someone, you not talk. For some people, it's a difficult thing to not talk ten days, but also it's about silence of the mind, which.


Gareth:


Will be probably more it's really difficult. I did a four day silent retreat in the west of Ireland one time and I remember just going, I can't do to because I love talking, I love having fun. And I'd be sitting at the dinner table and everyone was just silent. And I was like, oh God, this is so because when you eat food with people, it's so nice to chat. And I found that I didn't stick to it. I'd go out and I'd sit in the back of my jeep. And I'd like, be on the phone talking to people. I remember I had a friend with me, actually, you know him, Stephen. And I'd go over to Stephen, I tried to talk to him, and all of a sudden he'd go he'd ignore me. And I was like, what's wrong with like, he stuck to it. He totally stuck to it. Even though I wanted to speak. So I failed, I completely failed at the silence. But you did seven days. Ten days. Ten days and no phone, no looking.


Diana:


At your phone, nothing. There is zero input. I find it really beautiful not knowing people and get comfortable in the space with them, how beautiful it is that we really don't need to we can just be we forget how to be. We all the time need some kind of entertainment. And that was all about being so I find it really beautiful. And people were so kind because so little things were happening, so we had that pattern that everyone holds the doors for someone else. Even that somebody walks like 100 meters away and you wait for that woman to pass by and you hold the door for her. So much kindness. Really beautiful. I would really recommend and it is a beautiful, simple practice as well as to clear your mind. It works very well for those who kind of having a hard time is a really beautiful process to sit and to actually go through those ten days, because unfortunately, few people left in the meantime. But that accomplishment of the ten days and feeling that you've done it, and definitely there will be some beautiful unfoldings after for those people.


Gareth:


So a lot of people just they decided that they couldn't.


Diana:


Yeah. If you don't meditate. I think so, yeah. Unfortunately, it broke them, being in that presence for ten days. For ten days, I would believe that it would create some change. Yeah.


Eva:


But I think you have to be a very advanced meditator to sit for ten days in silence 10 hours a day.


Diana:


Yeah. Four in the morning to nine in the evening with some little food as well.


Eva:


That as well. Okay. Wow.


Diana:


You're eating 11:00, you have your lunch, dinner, and then in the afternoon, 05:00. Just a fruit, beautiful space. Definitely. And the funny thing, because I knew that I'm going to see you guys, I was sitting there was a chair, and I was sitting there every day for some time after lunch, and I was watching it was an old monastery, and I was watching that window. It was like a stained window. I'm not sure if there is a special name for it.


Gareth:


Stained glass window. Yeah. In a church.


Diana:


In a church, yes. And the person who was sitting there, the person who was on that picture, it was Saints Bridget. And I was just watching it. I was thinking, I'm going to talk about my prayer soon. And here I have the sense. Bridget watching me every day, so I kind of find that maybe a kind of cycle finished as well. Really beautiful.


Gareth:


Okay, is there anything else you would like to add before we wrap up? Diana, can we just talk a little bit about how people can find you about your website? You have a great instagram. Yeah. If you want to just give us your details so people can get in contact if they want to work with you.


Diana:


Sure. Thank you so much. Yeah, my website was my website alivenesska.com. That's my website. And the funny thing that I'm always confused with my Instagram, I think. So it's Diana underline aka aka underlined Project. Yeah. So that's mostly where I am. I'm on Facebook as well. We all are everywhere those days, isn't it? On all social medias.


Eva:


We're going to put the address, everything under this video anyways that people can.


Diana:


Thank you very much for this beautiful time together. I had lots of fun talking to you guys, and thank you for allowing me to tell the story from my childhood, how I felt very much separated, very much having so much fear and questions and tell you my story until today, being quite somehow aware of what's going on and in tune.


Gareth:


It's been great. Go ahead, hold your finger up.


Eva:


Thank you for sharing the story, especially from your childhood, because I think it was so amazing and it was just so amazing listening to you sharing your experiences and all the whole journey up until now. It was very amazing to listen and to hear and yeah. Thank you so much. It was so nice to have you on our podcast.


Diana:


So thank you for coming this morning. I was thinking about your name, guys, and responsibilities, and I said, I need to share something because a kind of sentence came up. Maybe you want to add somewhere or maybe one day. Once one reaches certain levels of awareness, one sees only endless possibilities. This is all for you.


Gareth:


Thank you so much.


Eva:


I love the line.


Diana:


Thank you. Thank you so much.


Gareth:


Diana, it's been a pleasure. Thank you so much. And it was great to hear your story. I didn't know a lot of it, so for me, it was great to hear and yeah, you're just great energy and such a great person to have on the show.


Diana:


Yeah.


Gareth:


Thank you, Diana.


Eva:


Lovely to hang out. Thank you.


Gareth:


Okay, thank you, everybody.


Eva:


Thanks for listening.


Gareth:


Okay, bye.





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